Thirty Years of Healing the Most Ancient Wound in the Human Family

by Hohm Press

ISBN: 978-1-942493-78-5
Ebook: 978-1-942493-79-2
Paper, $39.95, 500 pages, 7 x 10

How can we move forward beyond the anger and outrage to heal and transform, in practical ways, the vast crisis of relations between women and men, and among people of all genders? This book addresses that question.

Over the past 30 years, the Gender Equity and Reconciliation International (GERI) project has convened over 300 intensive workshops and trainings in 12 countries, for more than 7,000 people on 6 continents. These groups have engaged in a deep process of unraveling the systemic knots of gender conflicts and developed practical skills
for transforming gender relations from the inside out. Another 22,000 people have been introduced to the GERI process in conferences and trainings.

Inspired by the principles of Truth and Reconciliation developed by the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa, the GERI project has a longstanding record. This book is full of inspiring stories that document how the methodology of deep truth-telling and collective alchemy dissolves root causes of gender conflict, through skillfully
facilitated, heart-centered transformational experiences, which are followed up with ongoing peer support.

“That rarest of books, it challenges and changes your mind, but only after it penetrates your heart.”—Peter Rutter, M.D., Jungian psychiatrist, author: Sex in the Forbidden Zone and Understanding and Preventing Sexual Harassment.

With contributions from 12 distinguished world leaders in this field, and special inserts from such notable persons as Stanislav Grof, MD, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, and Peter Rutter, MD, this book is an invaluable resource for laypersons and professionals, educators and religious leaders who are thoughtfully addressing the gender-based
conflicts and needs of young and old in their own homes, therapy practices, organizations and congregations across the globe.

Will Keepin, Ph.D. and Rev. Cynthia Brix, Ph.D., are co-founders of Gender Equity & Reconciliation, International.


An important, indeed a necessary book in these difficult times.  While unflinchingly illustrating the devastation of gender injustice, the authors offer an original and inspiring path to hope and healing.  Their program, so vividly and movingly described, could change the world.

Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D., Senior Scholar, Wellesley Centers for Women and creator of the “Killing Us Softly: Advertising’s Image of Women” film series

 “Gender and Reconciliation is overflowing with ancient spiritual wisdom and contemporary insight into the tragic interplay between gender and violence. As such it is an invaluable resource for those of us who struggle to help others see the deep connections between men’s violence against googwomen, other men, and themselves. Even more importantly, it offers men, women, and others creative and compassionate strategies for moving forward, together.”

Jackson Katz, Ph.D., author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help

 The authors have written "the bible" on the topic of gender and healing. Their expertise is world class as is this absolutely remarkable book. We ALL need the insights, information, challenging truths, comprehensive understandings and profound healing power of this book. I celebrate the scholarship contained in this work but most of all, the LOVE they have so deeply expressed through this book on the most vital topic of our age.
Lynne Twist, Co-Founder of Pachamama Alliance, Author of The Soul of Money

 Gender Equity is the one certain step to heal humanity and build true justice in the world.  Without gender equity the spiritual reality of unity is not possible. This book and the GERI program illuminates a path to do just that. 

Justin Baldoni, Author of Man Enough


Unless we make the 21st century the feminine century, our humanity is at stake. This book shows the important steps to cultivate feminine values and how to lead with them for the ultimate good for all.

— Zainab Salbi, Humanitarian, Author, TV Host, and founder of Women for Women International

The majority of men want to be “Better Men,” but don’t know how to go about it. [When] men heal and connect to their hearts, true equality and partnership will reign.  The Gender Equity and Reconciliation work is a key that helps train men to become the better men they long to be, not just for themselves, but for their loved ones and colleagues. 

Ray Arata, Founder, Better Man Conference, Author, Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace

 Gender Equity and Reconciliation International (GERI) has worked for over 30 years to shift the paradigm of gender antipathy, and to heal the gender rift and our wounded hearts. This book is truly inspiring in its chronicling of GERI’s positive impact across six continents within diverse racial, ethnic, and cultural contexts and religious traditions; for the research highlighting the efficacy of the GERI methodology; and for the gift of a visionary present in which we are invited to “transcend the past and rewrite the gender future of humanity.”

The GERI process of “collective alchemy” uses the dross of patriarchal oppression to fuel the alchemical heart fire and process of transmutation and transformation. Fault lines give way to etheric lines of sacred interconnectedness between hearts, and gender wars abate in recognition of our mutuality, our “interbeing.”  So simple, yet so profound – telling our stories in an environment of mutual safety and support, being heard with open hearts, empathic resonance, and compassionate understanding, according grace and forgiveness. 

 — Annette Williams, PhD, Associate Professor/Chair, Women's Spirituality PhD Program and Women, Gender, Spirituality, and Social Justice MA Program, California Institute of Integral Studies

Work [that is] inspired by a desire and commitment for justice must rank as our highest priority. Young and old, we must unlearn the prejudices and discriminatory practices that we are often blind to, despite their hurtful nature. The brave accounts in this tome, across many divides, are inspiring and show that we can successfully reclaim our humaneness. Stepping up and showing up to do the work constitutes acts of courage. We must continually make this work accessible, to reach every neighbourhood. It is that urgent. 

Lechesa Tsenoli, Deputy Speaker, National Assembly, Parliament of South Africa

A deep and powerful exploration of gender opposition, gender injustice, and the pathway through this suffering to a vision and life as one human family. 
Rev. Joan Jiko Halifax, Abbot, Upaya Zen Center, Santa Fe, NM

In a world that pushes us towards polarities of differences, this seminal work celebrates those differences and helps us find common ground. The book is full of new approaches practiced over decades and a wealth of experiences gathered from across the world that have fostered genuine healing and reconciliation between men, women, and people of all gender identities. It is a must read. 

Vishal Talreja and Suchetha Bhat, Co-Founder and CEO of Dream a Dream

An experiential methodology called "a Healing of Memories” was developed as a parallel process to South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission.  In our work across the world, the most frequent narratives are childhood trauma and gender-based violence. I am of the view that the woundedness and oppression in the relationship between women and men is the oldest wound in the human family.

 The work of Healing of Memories resonates profoundly with the work of gender healing. This magnificent work, Gender Equity and Reconciliation bears testimony that ancient, old and recent wounds can heal and a new humanity is possible.

 The human family will forever bear the marks of crucifixion even as we begin to experience resurrection.

 This magnum opus is a testament to all across the globe doing the work of gender healing. At the same time, it holds out before all people an invitation to participate in the work of redemption that will liberate all of us to be part of a gentler, kinder, and more just world.

Fr. Michael Lapsley SSM, President, Healing of Memories Global Network

Each time I am talking about girls in middle school or high school about their empowerment, their participation, their opportunity to talk about changes they would like to see, the volunteer opportunities opening for them, a young man always asks, “what about us”, don’t you have a program for us boys?” I am startled each time I hear a young boy of middle and high school ask that question, then they say to me, “we need help as well. I want to grow into a loving man, I want to be healer and to be healed”.  Gender Equity will be a resource and a gift to young men as well as women, Gender Equity will be the lighthouse that young people are yearning for. I am excited!

 — The Honorable Jacquelyne K. Weatherspoon, Former Member New Hampshire House of Representatives

Magnificent heartfelt healing work that is leading us toward the love we long for. It gifts us a map of deep positive transformation we can use in these troubled and divisive times.

Jack Kornfield, Author, A Path With Heart

 The collective healing of humanity’s deepest wounds is the need of the hour – wounds generated from so many forms of domination; racial, religious, economic and gender domination of one group by another, and now domination of the earth and her many communities of life.  These various expressions of oppression are all connected, and as a human community we must outgrow this impulse. Will Keepin and Cynthia Brix have devoted decades to addressing the scars of gender imbalance through their gender reconciliation and healing work.  As we heal individually, greater portions of the collective will heal and manifest a new, more wholesome consciousness.

 For humanity to progress, and even survive, the millennia long era of domination must give way to a new era of collaboration, balance and knowing that when we harm one, we harm all.  Gender Equity and Reconciliation shows the way forward -- how to acknowledge and bring to the surface the hidden gender wounds so they can be addressed and healed.  This is a process upon which we all need to reflect, men and women alike.  I have no doubt that this book will serve as a lifeline to thousands of people around the world.

 — Dena Merriam, Founder, The Global Peace Initiative of Women and author of The Untold Story of Sita: An Empowering Tale for our Time   

 There are many admirable people and organizations around our planet devoted to making the world a better place. High on that list is the courageous work described in this volume. The stories and events recounted here are immeasurably inspiring. There is scarcely any more important work going on today than the effort to heal and transform the relationships between men and women, between people of all genders: to bravely bear witness, to work through the traumas, to face the shadows in our history and in ourselves. And from there, to accept responsibility, grieve, ask forgiveness, offer forgiveness. The hard-won achievements of such work ripples out to influence not only the larger society but our human relations with the many other species that with us constitute our Earth community. I hope this book is read by many, and that the work it describes will be taken up, in myriad ways, by all who are moved by the depth of its heartful wisdom.  

Richard Tarnas, Ph.D., Author of The Passion of the Western Mind and Cosmos and Psyche,Founding Director of Philosophy, Cosmology, and Consciousness Program, California Institute of Integral Studies

 Gender Equity and Reconciliation is a groundbreaking guide for all of us who want fulfilling relationships and a more caring and equitable world. 

Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and the BladeSacred Pleasure, and Nurturing Our Humanity

For 30 years, GERI has been reaching to the root of and dismantling the social construct [of gender] that has been institutionalized at so many levels, and giving us new tools for identifying and resolving the connections between gender, race, and inequality. This book is an alchemy of cultural stories spanning the gender spectrum and its intersectional ties. It serves as a blueprint to move forward as one equal family. What a gift we have been given in this volume. 

 — Marilyn Turkovich, Executive Director, Charter for Compassion

 This book is a powerful and timely contribution to breaking the tyranny of silence and exposing the hidden truths, harmful stereotypes, and trauma of gender oppression. This collective work of a global repertoire of activist voices spanning three decades has redefined the contours of our gendered political and social landscape in a remarkable manner. Their spirited activism challenges injustice, and encourages us to disrupt the way we think and the way we live. The imperative of the book is a deliberate intersectionality of reconciliation, mindful action, inclusive practice, resilience, respect for diverse realities, and a more radical humanism.

 Professor Rajendra Chetty, a post-colonial scholar, University of the Western Cape, South Africa

 If you’re called to help heal our world, to affect a root cause of human suffering - regardless of your gender or racial identity, your sector, nationality or orientation, read this book! 

With a boldly audacious goal to address the deepest, most insidious and universal trauma that pervades our human species, it shares stories and methods that have proven effective in creating transformations rippling in societies around the globe. The book speaks to all levels of the traumas we carry as a result of thousands of years of gender bias and violence — a root cause of all the issues we face — from the individual to the organizational, and from the societal to the archetypal. By integrating multiple modalities into a holistic framework working with people of all genders, the authors co-evolved a method to reach deep into people’s hearts to be able to shed conditioning that we must now transform, for the sake of our collective future and the beloved community that’s possible on the other side. Don’t wait to read this book; it’s deeply applicable, timely and useful, in any profession.

 — Nina Simons, Co-founder of Bioneers, author of Nature, Culture, and the Sacred: A Woman Listens for Leadership 2nd Edition 

If there was ever a need for a book with a bold mission it is now. With empathy, compassion, and bravery, Gender Equity & Reconciliation tackles the most pressing issue of our day by seamlessly melding the micro with the macro level of analysis to “rewrite the gender story and reinvent the gender future of humanity.” It would be impossible to read this book and not be profoundly changed in how we, as a collective, think about gender inequality, and the ways we can lovingly work together to create a new way of being that is transformative. 

 — Gail Dines, PhD., Professor Emerita of Sociology and Women's Studies at Wheelock College in Boston, Massachusetts and President: Culture Reframed

When I learned about this gender equity and reconciliation work several years ago, I had never seen anything quite like it. The engaging and compelling approach, developed through more than 30 years of rigorous research and practice, isn’t about policy or politics. It’s about people. 

It's about how we as a society—through universal human values of compassion, empathy, and forgiveness—can create safe spaces for women, men, and people of all gender identities, backgrounds, cultures, and ethnicities to come together as equals to explore the taboos, vulnerabilities, violations, and conditions that are at the root of gender inequity. It is work that we can all support. It is work that will change our world.

 — Suzanne Lerner, president and CEO, Michael Stars, activist for gender equality and equity

For 30 years, the authors have worked on illuminating and redressing  gender conditioning, oppression and injustice with their groundbreaking seminars and retreats.   These deeply immersive events are unsparingly direct, and yet poignantly and sensitively revelational in their import.  

 In this context, of particular note is GERI’s consideration of the role of patriarchy in established religions, and the disproportionate negative impact it has had on women, and members of the LGBTQ+ communities.

 There is much reconciliation and healing that needs to be done, and GERI has been at the foreground of engaging with these issues.  This timely and important book encapsulates many of the hard-won perspectives and insights acquired during that long stretch.  Essential reading for anyone interested in addressing these significant imbalances.

 — Rev. SeiFu Anil Singh-Molares, Executive Director, Spiritual Directors International

This book is an inspiring and intersectional approach to gender healing and reconciliation. It underscores the transformative power of gender justice movements as it provides practical tools toward gender equity and healing.

 — Latanya Mapp Frett, President and CEO of Global Fund for Women

At last we have a book that tells the life changing stories of GERI’s global, ecumenical, cross-cultural and healing work, with a track record of impact.  We hear narratives of how GERI facilitates and holds space to address gender wounds in individuals, relationships, systems and cultures. This book invites you on a thoughtful, safe and holistic journey to hope, healing, understanding, empathy, and gender reconciliation.  Thank you GERI.

 — Rev. Dr. Doug Calhoun, Rev. Adele Calhoun, Co-authors, Spiritual Rhythms for the Enneagram: A Handbook for Harmony and Transformation

Will Keepin and Cynthia Brix are pioneers in a world-wide battle to prevent crimes against women. This book is thoughtful, brilliant, and brave. They and their fellow warriors and co-authors have personally traveled the globe educating and healing. This book captures their vast compassion and intelligence.

 — Delia Ephron, novelist, screenwriter, and author of the memoir, Left on Tenth: A Second Chance at Life

I am a disabled woman of colour, who survived Apartheid. I hail from a small rural area in South Africa. As an activist who spent most of my life in pursuit of equality for all, I must acknowledge that after all the talks, awareness programmes, all the public demonstrations and the noises we collectively make, in 2022, we still face the toxic contagions of vast imbalance.  The big question confronting us all is how we collectively approach a beast that is so multi-faceted, multi-layered and complex.  

I wish to congratulate the authors of this book, as their work over many years has made an important contribution to our struggle against patriarchy and injustice. The book aims to empower girls and women, educate boys and men, and people of all genders, challenge gender norms, and social attitudes. This is the work required to transform the judicial systems, healthcare, disability networks, and ultimately society. 

Dr. Marlene Le Roux, Chief Executive Officer of Artscape, and a global leader in the disability and the arts sector, South Africa

The vision and methodology of this book is medicine for activating hope in anyone concerned with healing traumatized and militarized masculinity.  As someone committed to men’s work—the lifelong work of deconstructing the “Man-box” and healing the harms of patriarchy in all genders—I cannot think of any better work than GERI to engage in.  This book promises to deepen and broaden the transformative efforts of all people determined to achieve gender healing and justice.

 — Terry Symens-Bucher, J.D., M.Div., Illuman - Men’s Rites of Passage - Board of Directors and Former Chair

 Hold, Hear, and Honor . . . this (deceptively) simple formula has shaped both the structure and the spirit of GERI events from the very earliest days. It has enabled participants to free themselves and one another from so many of the dark and damaging lies about gender we’ve all inherited that I wonder whether it might not be time to tweak it just a little:  Hold, Hear, Honor . . . and Hope. Because as you turn the pages of this extraordinary account, and hear one voice after another describe the transformative powers of GERI, something very like hope does begin to stir.  What a gift!

Carol Lee Flinders, PhD, author of At the Root of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst

Studies suggest that the gender archetype is the deepest in the human psyche. Healing the gender wound is among the most important and systemically transformative acts we can take. This gripping book is a master work, a field guide to one of the most hopeful initiatives in the world today. It offers nothing less than a page-one rewrite of humanity’s gender story and a pathway to the reinvention of the gender future of humanity. Changing that will truly change everything.

 — Kenny Ausubel, Co-founder of Bioneers, Producer of Changing of the Gods

Not every organization and movement that claims “Beloved Community” status deserves to do so, but GERI does. In summarizing its work over thirty years, its founders have included extensive contributions by GERI’s facilitators and distinguished collaborators. In this volume, each contribution uniquely reveals the proven transformative power of GERI’s methodology developed and applied in service of truth, reconciliation, and love.

 — Robert McDermott, Ph.D., President Emeritus, Professor Emeritus, California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS), Author, Steiner and Kindred Spirits

In this impactful, comprehensive, and deeply personal book, the authors invite us to step forward with them into a post-patriarchal world of gender healing and reconciliation. In a time when our culture of masculinity is in crisis, men and boys need new stories and models of masculinity that are creative, connective, and life-affirming. The authors of this book don’t just provide theories and concepts, they invite us into the practice of divesting from domination-based culture and investing in a thriving and equitable human future. May we step forward wholeheartedly into this emerging world together.

 — Dan Mahle, Founder, Wholehearted Masculine

Imagine a world where our differences as people catalyze connection and spark generative action — [creating] communities that bring their trouble, trauma and triumphs to the center, together, for witnessing, healing and justice. This work provides a masterful map for us to navigate the terrain between a culture of cold concern for liability to one of warm, welcoming accountability. This book and the work it underscores is medicine for heart and soul - individual and collective. Never has there been a more timely and potent contribution to healing the gender wound in our society. 

Nicky Wilks, Co-Founder, Journeymen Institute

Transforming…  This work is about a safe space where one enters to explore inherent feminine and masculine energies, embracing both with openness in a trusted community, and sharing heart-rending stories. One exits this sacred space with the truth, beauty, and goodness of self, of others and of creation as one.  A most excellent program and read. 

Charles Barker MD MPH ThMPast Chair, International Charter for Compassion 

What a privilege to review this book—such a lovingly and wondrously lived work.  It g-listens!

 — Wilda Christin Spalding, Founder International Human Rights Consortium

Gender Equity & Reconciliation